This is just a vent blog. Of course about the prick that left me and his girls a little over 2 months ago. I had my ultrasound today. Wanted to call him and tell him, hey our girls look so much like you. Well the call didnt go through. So I asked his mom if he got his number changed. He did. And no one bothered to tell me a damn thing, and she knew I had been sending him messages a few days ago. I had written him a letter this weekend and he never replied with a call or anything so I was txting him to see if he got it. Well now I know why he didnt respond, because he changed his number. What if there had been an emergency, and I dont want to go through his parents just to talk to him. It makes me so upset. I didnt do anything to him and hes treating me like crap. Just all of a sudden too. We were fine like a month ago. I dont know what happened. I just know that we need to talk face to face, soon. Or Im taking him to court. Im just so frustrated. The past 2 weeks have been so hard for me. Break ups are supposed to get better after time, but its just been getting worse, Ive been crying myself to sleep every night for the past week. and every time I mention him I start to cry. I just dont understand. Im mad at myself because a part of me still wants him there when I deliver, but I know he doesnt deserve it, and wouldnt show up anyways cuz hes acting like he doesnt care. And his mother isnt helping. Shes all upset cuz I told her that she couldnt be at the house every day. Hello we need privacy too. Plus the grandparents dont need to see their grandkids every day. I dont know any families where they get to see them every day. Except them cuz they are right next door to each other. But they arent really even family to us so.... why? Maybe 3 times a week. Thats enough isnt it? I just dont know what to do about kevin. Hes such a prick that cant make up his mind. Hes being so childish and for once I dont want him back. I hope I find someone the girls can call dad before they understand because it breaks my heart that they arent going to have a father. I thank you for reading this because i went on and on and it was way long lol
Maybe things will get better. I just get tired of people telling me that it will. Cuz as of right now, I dont see how its going to.
Maybe things will get better. I just get tired of people telling me that it will. Cuz as of right now, I dont see how its going to.
10 comments:
Hang in there Jess. Time will ease the pain of all of this. 1 or 2 months isn't enough time to get over the hurt of what Kevin did. You shouldn't have to go through his parents to talk to him, however, I would stop trying. Let him come to you. I know it is hard. If he is going to be a dad, he needs to step up to the plate and doing it. Making him be involved won't make him be a dad. It only leads to upseting you and adding more frustrations for you. Focus on yourself and the girls. You are doing AMAZING! You will have 2 beautiful little girls very soon and they will be the center of your life. I am positive that some day in the future you will meet someone who is worthy of you. Kevin apparently isn't. I am sorry he is such a jerk. No one should have to go through that esp when they are pregnant. As far as his parents, you are entitiled to your space. I am sure that is a hard situation esp since Kevin is being a jerk and they didn't bother to tell ya that he had changed his number. I see my in-laws almost every day, but they are considerate and call and ask to see the kids. Or we call and invite them over. Big hugs!
Jess, I have been where you are. It is not easy, I know. But trust me when I tell you it will get easier! I would have to agree with CC. Stop trying. If it is meant to be, he will come around. Yes, he is being a jerk. Just hold on until these precious little girls are born, then figure out what to do next. You are right, they don't need to see the babies everyday, but, it might be a well needed break for you. Maybe they are hoping that they can go back to Kevin and let him in on all the wonderful things and he will come around.
Your mom has my number. If you want to talk, just give me a call!
I can not imgaine the pain that he is causing you. I remember being there but, I was not pregnant and that just adds to your pain so much I am sure. I am thinking about you, hang in there, you are doing a great job being a wonderful mother to those two little girls already!
Hang in Jess! Believe it or not, things WILL get better. Maybe not today, tomorrow, or the next day, but they WILL get better. You will soon have your beautiful girls & they will be your entire world. He is SO undeserving of you & the girls! If he wants to be there for the girls, he will. And if not, then don't let that ruin your lives because you are all better off without him. CC is right... you can't MAKE him be a dad. I feel for you & sooo wish I could take away your pain! Just know that there are MANY people on your side & you've got a wonderful loving & supporting family. Everything will work itself out, just be strong! Those beautiful little angels need you! Take care & know that I'm thinking about you & praying things get better!
Jess honey, I've been there before and it will get better, you have to believe that. I was single when I had Jay.
You are definitely entitled to your space. I think setting ground rules from day 1 is a good idea. That way there's no fighting later on, everyone knows what will be happening and when, just make sure you are flexible.
I'm really sorry that Kevin is being so childish about it, they do say that women mature faster than men and this is definitely happening here. He'll grow up one day, but unfortunately it might be too late by then. By the time my ex grew up, it was too late. I hope for him and the girls he grows up soon and starts taking some responsibility.
Don't worry about finding a daddy for the girls. That will happen when the time is right and when you find the perfect 'man'.
Jess,
Try not to think about Kevin right now and just focus on those girls and you staying healthy.
Later, when they are here, see what happens and make sure you are the one who sets the rules. If he wasn't there while you were pregnant, he doesn't get to say what "works" for him. Period.
Hey Jess,
I know it is hard not to think about him, so I am not going to tell you to stop thinking about him. I know things are hard right now. Breaking up with someone you loved is hard enough. But when you are pregnant, with two babies, it is so much harder. My advice to you is to stop trying to contact him. He will come when and if he is ready. I know it is easier said then done, but obviously his mother still cares for her granddaughters. I think you are amazing for telling them to not come everyday! You set some ground rules, and that is pretty awesome. For right now, you will have to talk to his parents. They both want to be involved in your daughters lives, which at the moment, is a lot more to say then the father. And most likely, they are ashamed of how their son is behaving, and trying to make up for his childish behavior by smothering you. It is a very complicated situation, and I wish you weren't in it. Hope things get better, and you and the girls are doing great!
Jess I've been in your exact shoes before. I'm a single mom with twin boys, daddy left while I was pregnant. I did exactly what you are doing... Letters, texts, voice mail, etc. without a response. I think the best thing I did was stop trying to contact him. I know it's hard. I've been there. However it DOES get better, much, much better! Especially when those girls are here! then you wont want to deal with the drama, nor have time for it.
Let him come around on his own, then decide where to go from there.
I can say I'm disappointed that my boys dont have a dad. Yet at the same time I'm so glad they are not sitting around waiting for daddy to show up only to be let down. If he is going to leave it's better to happen now. You have the full support of your friends & family, that's all you are going to need.
Take care, keep the girls cooking as long as possible. If you want to talk/email any more on single with twins, feel free to contact me.
Oh i just hate the fact that he is making you SAD, i can understand all the mixed feelings you have and they are normal, life is a bitch, BUT as everybody says and i know that you are so tired of listening to this, IT will get better, and HE will be the one missing out!... You are a Brave young woman and when you see your girls life will change
Hang in there it will get better..Pretty soon you will have two beautiful baby girls..I too have been where you are,that is with someone who cheated on me, i was stupid enough to take him back 4 times! 4 times and then i decided that, that was it, i was done with him, so i met my best friends brother and started seeing him, with her help..she set us up, and after 6 yrs we got married, and have been married for 6 yrs! so there is someone out there for you...anyway with his parents i would use a lot of caution, although im not experienced in this area and in no way know them, and use ALOT of CAUTION especially if they ever ask to take them over night..
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